How to choose the right therapist for you
There is no 100% fool-proof method of selecting the right therapist, any more than there is a guaranteed way to select the right lawyer, physician, accountant, or plumber.
Major sources for finding a reputable therapist are through physicians, family or friends, the workplace, Web search engines, and lists from professional associations.
A doctor can refer you to a well-reputed colleague or to their own therapist. But there can be no guarantee that the recommended therapist will be suitable for you. Personality factors, particular problems or differing ideologies may interfere with rapport. The same is true for referrals by family or friends.
Above all, do not be misled by reputation alone.
A great reputation in the therapy field is not always based on competence.
Sometimes it is fed by publicity and by professional colleagues who have a personal liking for a particular therapist, especially if that therapist devotes a lot of time to their organization's interests. Their colleagues may be impressed by that therapist’s speeches, self-confidence and self-promotion. But do they personally know any successfully treated clients?
Trust your reaction when talking with a therapist. Shop around. Spend at least as much time to select a therapist as you would to choose a car.
The best criterion is satisfied clients. Ask the therapist for written testimonials. Any therapist who has been in business for a reasonable length of time will have letters on file from grateful clients. These will be people who have given permission for their comments to be shown to enquirers. Read and verify them.
Be sure you feel comfortable with the therapist. If you feel uneasy, it may be a sign that they are not good for you.
Here’s how to find out who would be the most appropriate therapist for you. Ask Hypnotherapists and Psychotherapists the questions below.
Key questions to ask yourself:
Do they seem interested in my problems?
Do I feel welcome?
Is the therapist on time?
Do I feel accepted?
Do they treat me with respect?
Do they appear hopeful?
Do they ask a lot about me?
Are they genuinely interested in me?
Does their office feel like a haven?
Does the therapist really listen?
Do they seem knowledgeable?
Key questions to ask the therapist:
Why should I see you, and not one of your competitors?
What experience do you have with my kind of problem?
What are your professional qualifications?
How long have you been in practice?
Do you have references?
What hypnotherapy or psychotherapy associations do you belong to?
How soon can I make an appointment?
What are your fees?
May I bring someone with me?
Do you mind if I record the session?
Will you teach me techniques such as self-hypnosis or EFT that I can use on my own?
Experience is a good criterion. Experience not just of therapy but of life, too. To ask the therapist questions relevant to their experience is a smart move. Have they written books or articles which you could read?
Respectful therapists do not snap their fingers at you, nor speak in a condescending manner. They treat you with the importance you deserve. After all, their business depends on you, and others like you, who seek a better life.
Lack of respect also applies to improper questions, suggestions or behaviour.
In a truly therapeutic relationship you are heard, accepted, understood and guided to strengthen your inner resources. The therapist is your ally. Not your friend. Not your business partner. Not your guru. And certainly not your lover.
Above-board therapists will be delighted that you bring a friend or relative with you. (Not to sit in the session however!). Similarly, they will be pleased you wish to record the session because then you can use the recording at home as reinforcement.
Therapists with your interests at heart will automatically teach you self-care techniques. It is part of your becoming self-reliant.
Therapy should be tailored to you, the individual. No two problems, and certainly no two people, however similar, are identical. Settle for nothing less than personalized service.
That individualized approach requires a complete history-taking. It is of course impossible in the short time available for the therapist to learn everything about you. But they should know the details of your presenting problem, your family situation, important life events, health condition, fears, likes and dislikes, etc.
Do not be overly concerned with the per session fee. A very low fee per session may sound attractive, but, in monetary terms, it is the total number of sessions which will count in the end. In human terms, becoming well makes even a high fee seem like a bargain.
Beware of any therapist who has a one-track mind.
Some therapists continually find that the origin of all their clients’ problems lies in childhood sexual abuse; others find that all their clients’ problems arise from past lives; others find that all their clients’ problems arise from birth trauma, etc., etc.
Not all of life’s distresses arise from one trauma, or indeed, from any trauma. Human beings are far too complex and life, fortunately, is far too rich, for there to be one single cause of everyone’s troubles.
Two questions that concern most people are, how many sessions will it take? and what is your success rate?
No one can know in advance how many sessions your problem will take to resolve. There are far too many variables, including: the personalities of you and the therapist, your talent for hypnosis or insight, whether you really want to shed the problem, what other issues may surface, etc.
Of course, you could specify a certain number of sessions. And some therapists do set a fixed number of sessions. (The pressure of this deadline approach sometimes helps but there can be no guarantee.) Be assured, however, that hypnosis usually speeds up the therapeutic process.
What might take months or years of regular psychotherapy can usually be accomplished in weeks with hypnotherapy. For unhealthy habits such as smoking, hypnotherapy is 100% successful for those who choose and decide to change.
A therapist using hypnosis should practice within their professional competence. Thus, a dentist who relaxes their dental patients with hypnotic techniques has no business engaging in psychotherapy, unless they have also been trained in that field. Conversely, a physician must be involved when a medical concern, such as pain, is being tackled.
Responsible therapists use hypnosis as a tool. Since it is not in itself a therapy, nor is it a cure-all, you are in better hands if the hypnotherapist is also able to deal with your problem without hypnosis.
Thus, if you are consulting a physician who is using hypnosis to help you control pain, presumably they will have pharmaceutical alternatives with which to help you should the hypnotherapy not work well. But if the doctor is using hypnosis to help you deal better with a disastrous relationship, they are helpless if the hypnotherapy fails – unless they have taken special training in couples’ counselling.
Licensing and governmental regulation over who is allowed to practice therapy vary from jurisdiction to jurisdiction.
Remember, to find the right therapist for yourself, first do your homework about credentials and experience and then – trust your instincts.
— Dr Bryan M. Knight, MSW, PhD